Intro Entry

Ok, well, I'm to lazy to write about me (which is saying something as we read on) so I'm just gonna start from my last blog on a different site WHICH DIDN'T POST. *ehem* I'm ok.


Anyway… Matt (my brother) is home… from what you ask? (or not…) The hospital. At my family reunion, we were riding the four wheelers in the horse pasture. Matt taught me so we went around the trail once and I decided I wanted to go back to the gate at the bottom of the hill. I heard him say “ok, lets fly down then” so I was looking at the gas thingy (that makes you go lol) and I got to the bottom of the hill and didn’t see him. This was strange cuz there’s really no where to go but to the gate so I was a bit miffed. Then I saw my Aunt Paige running at me shouting “what the fuck! Why are you leaving him there!” and I was like “where? What?” and my cousin Corey said “We came to get you” and I was like “WHY!” and it turns out that Matt had crashed into a tree.

All in all, he’s ok now. He snapped his femur into two and has a metal rod in his leg. No sports for him, and he can’t go to Cruefest. He was in the hospital for four days and is now sleeping in my mom’s bed.

Why the emo mood then? I feel like a selfish bitch. I think I’m a bit jealous about all the attention he’s getting, but not because I want to be waited on and moved when I need to and stuff, but my mom was talking about why she was crying while my brother was just sitting there, and how when someone’s child gets hurt, how hard it is and I’m thinking “what about me? I’ve been asking for a freaking DOCTERS VISIT for what, fifteen months now? I’m not asking to be rushed off to the emergency room, and I know perfectly well that Matt needed to go to a hospital immediately (his leg was HUGE!) but I’ve been asking for a long time to. Therefore, I feel like my jealousy is at least a tiny bit plausible, but when I think about it I feel selfish. He didn’t ask for this, and he’s in a lot of pain now and needs help with the simplest thing. But don’t I deserve to not be hurt too?

*sigh* anyway, that’s why I’m all emo today. I’m selfish because I don’t want to be in pain either. Is that so wrong? Anyway, I’ll try to start writing more often again. G’night!

Courtney