At least it's a nice night...

*deep breaths* Warning, you probably won't understand a thing I'm saying but I need to get it out and the thought of writing another emo, depressing, from-the-heart poem sickens me.

I'm sorry, okay? It's not my fault this time and when I woke up, I though "Yay." Then a few minutes later I said "shit". And you know what? I knew, as soon as it happened, that the first thing that you would say is "it's always something" and guess what, you did. And I don't even know what to do about it because I feel horrible and like a giant let down. That's all I've been lately is a dissapointment to everyone and I hate not being good enough. Because you deserve better than me. Although in all fairness, it isn't my fault, and I don't think I deserve to feel like this right now. For the second night in a row. "always something" I'm not just looking for excuses, okay? And apparently you have no faith in me, and no trust in me, so whenever I promise you something you're not going to care because you'll expect me to dissapoint you once more, like I always do. Last night was very difficult for both of us I think, and I'm not sure if it carried into today for you too but I sure as hell still feel miserable. Then this has to go an happen, and I don't even have anyone to talk to about it because it's fucking two o'clock in the morning. Maybe I just won't log on tomorrow, although we all know I won't do that because even something that might do me good because I need a mental break isn't going to happen. I'm even dissapointing myself, but I'm at least used to that.

GGGGAAAHHHH.

I think I'm going to lay out in the yard and look up at the stars for awhile...